001. leaving home

yesterday was the first stage of my month long trip to Asia... leaving.

i listened to a podcast about two criminals that escaped from Alcatraz.  In a previous interview with the convicts they were quoted saying, “escaping is as American as apple pie.”  Porter and I laughed about the idea but it was one of those thoughts that I thought when I go through the carwash.  Carwash thoughts are like shower thoughts where you don’t have to get dressed back up to execute.

so this is me escaping for a while.  and the things I notice on my way out and back again.

002... California

not trying to be cute

this isn't me trying to be artistic.  in fact there's not really a message behind what I want to say.  but here goes.

how I'm feeling:

I feel like I want to be complicated.  and loved.
because being complicated + loved = intriguing.

and being complicated and unloved isn't so bad either.
because being complicated + unloved = misunderstood. 
and I think I'm alright with being misunderstood.

I guess being simple and loved would be ok too.
because being simple + loved = relatable.

but

I'm just scared of being simple... and unloved.
because simple + unloved = unlovable.
and I can't be that.

so it's best to be complicated.  or at least to try to be.  maybe.

ok

am I ok?

or just ok with the things about me that aren't ok?